Pchan's Letter
by DeadShaggy
Summary: There are no pigs writing in this story. That'd be difficult to understand.


Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**P-chan's Letter**

"Saotome, you have a letter," the middle Tendo daughter held out her empty hand, instead of the one holding the envelope.

The young Saotome sighed as he handed her five hundred yen, all he currently had on him. The girl smirked and walked away.

"Eh? What's this? Pig-boy sendin' me a challenge letter?" he muttered as he tore it open. This was a little long, for that.

_Dear scumbag,_

_It's Ryoga, how have you been? Oh, by the way, sorry about calling you a scumbag. It's just that you may have thought this was addressed to someone else, like sweet Akane, if I didn't call you by name. _

_As I started with; how are you? Keeping out of trouble? Is Akane well? Are the Tendos OK? Before you answer, just remember that this is a_ letter_, so don't bother responding; I can't hear you. I realize that you aren't intelligent enough to understand something like that, without an explanation, so there you go. _

_Well then, enough of the formalities for now. It's been around seven months since I've been in Nerima, is that correct? Though technically… By the time I find a place to mail this letter, it may be longer. Laugh if you want; I no longer care. _

_Sorry for the off topic ramblings. I don't really write many letters. I'm having a hard time deciding where I should begin. _

_Let's see. After the failed wedding attempt, I went back to China. I was trying to make my way to Osaka. Even more unfortunate, was that I misplaced my backpack somewhere along the way. I had no money. _

_Of course I rarely had much to begin with. But it's worse when I also have no traveling supplies and equipment to support myself._

_It seemed to be getting worse as well, as I found myself in a city area; no wilderness in site. So it's not like I could really forage for food. I was getting more frustrated as I went along. Accidentally, I shattered the window of a restaurant. It was a bad moment. When the glass shattered some of it almost hit a man sitting at a close by table. _

_The owner was upset, and tried to make me pay for repairs, but I explained to him that I had no money. He settled for making me work in the kitchen until he was satisfied that I had worked off my damage. _

_I can cook, but the entire time I was there, I was merely the dish washer. I also took out the garbage and cleaned the place every night, after business hours._

_It was a two story building, the owner allowed me to stay upstairs in a small room, after I explained my entire situation. There weren't any rodents; it was a pretty well kept building. And even better so while I had my stay there, not to brag about something as simple as cleaning. It wasn't some big, popular restaurant though. _

_There were a lot of regulars who would frequent the place, and that was how they made their livings. After a short while everyone warmed up to me being there – regulars and staff alike. There are only four people who ran the place though, including me. That would be the owner, the cook, the busboy, and my self. The owner was also the replacement cook incase it was necessary. _

_Of course, they found out about my curse immediately. Being the dish washer, I knew it would be inevitable. So I shamefully revealed my cursed nature to them. To my surprise they accepted it. I felt overjoyed that these complete strangers would accept a freak such as me into their cozy little corner of China. _

_It came to be that every night, after work was finished. We would sit around and talk. I would regale them with tales of past travels, and exotic lands that I would frequently find myself in. _

_One such story being one time I was on an island, and was in my cursed form. The tribesmen that happened to live on this island were happy to find me. They snatched me up, along with a few other critters, and tossed us into a large, boiling pot. _

_When I hopped out of the pot, screaming, they merely stared in silence. They were probably considering eating me anyway. It was quite the scuffle. One guy was smart enough to find some cold water and turn me back into a pig. Probably knew about Jusenkyo, how, I don't know. But I hopped back into the pot, jumped out screaming again, and this pattern basically continued until I managed to knock them all out. _

_I shared a lot of these stories with them, and they listened intently. I felt special; there were people that actually wanted to listen to ME. And there was no one insulting me, or stealing my bread. They really liked me, _

_Two months had passed. A man who was not familiar to any of us came to the out of the way little restaurant, and approached me._

"_You've been tainted by the waters of Jusenkyo," he had smiled as he said it so matter-of-factly._

_I all but pleaded with him to reveal to me any means of curing my curse. If this man could tell I was cursed so easily, surely he knew something. This was destined to be. This was no coincidence, him randomly walking into THIS place, where I just so happened to be working. _

_I was told that there was a well in China, with water that had a reversing effect on curses. The man gave me a map detailing the exact route to take in order to locate this well. I remember at the time, I profusely thanked the man, who had wanted nothing in return for this generous act. _

_But all the while, I had been thinking "I'll never find this damn well on my own". But I was too prideful to ask the man to just take me there. _

_I set out immediately in search of this cure. I had completely forgotten to express my sincere gratitude to my friends at the restaurant, and bid them all farewell. I felt a little bad about that. But do you seriously think I'd be able to find them again if I wanted to correct this, anyway?_

_I spent two months exploring Russia, before I realized that I wasn't in the right country. _

_On my fifth month, I _think _I managed to stay inside of China. After two more weeks of roaming around, I came upon whom? The same man who gave me the map. He asked me if I had cured myself, and I fessed up and told him about my slightly off sense of direction._

_He told me that some acetaminophen would clear that right up. I expressed doubt, but then again I've never used anything like Tylenol – I can hardly ever find my way to any sort of store. So he could be right. _

_But I digress. He agreed to guide me to the well, so that I could at last be freed from my wretched curse. _

_Several dozen times I'd nearly lost track of him. Eventually he procured some rope, and tied us together _

_Five months, twenty-two days. We found the well. It had taken us eight days to locate the damned thing. It took me over two months to get as far as I did on my own, but he helped me find it in eight days. I am cursed._

_I looked at the man._

"_Well, I trust you know what to do from here?" was what he asked. Before I could say "no", he was gone._

_I looked at the well. Then I walked over. I poked my head into the darkness. The well seemed endless. Was there even water in it? I scanned the surrounding area, and found a heavy rock. Then I walked back towards the well, peered into its darkness; and dropped the rock down. I held an ear out. _

_There was no splash, and there was no sound of the rock clattering against the ground. This was ridiculous. The well couldn't be that deep. I looked around, and found a few more rocks. I grabbed them, walked back to the well; and threw them down one by one. _

_No noise. But I spent nearly three months getting here. There HAD to be something. That's unless of course, the old man was just trying to play a trick on me. But he wouldn't have wasted eight days of his life leading me around, for a joke, would he?_

_Then…_

_I heard a voice. It was coming from the well. _

_Now, I don't normally listen to mysterious voices coming from within wells; but this was a unique case. This very well could possibly hold the key to a cure. This voice was urging me to approach. _

_So then, I approached. _

_I approached with a loud, "what" And awaited a response. The voice in the well paused. As if it wasn't quite ready for such a rude answer. _

"_I am a cougar. I want to enter you." It said_

"_What?" I clearly hadn't heard it correctly._

"_ME in YOU, OK?" the cougar elaborated._

"_Why?" I asked slowly._

"_I am the cure you seek." _

_I wasn't going to be fooled so easily. "Oh? What am I trying to cure?"_

"_The fact that you turn into a piglet." The cougar responded._

"_Damn it." Good guess, but here was my opportunity. It was now or never. I couldn't let this slip past me…_

"_What do I have to do?" _

"_Climb down into this well, and I will enter you." The cougar had said as if it were common knowledge._

_I hopped into the well. _

_It felt like I smacked my head against the wall thirty five times on the way down. Actually, I did. I counted every time my head bounced, at least before I blacked out._

_Now, I'm gonna tell you something. From that point on, for the next two months I would black out every night._

_Now, you might say that blacking out every night is called sleeping, but here's the problem. Whenever I woke up, I was somewhere different…Oh, and my curse was gone. I was utterly ecstatic at first, but that soon changed. I realized that I had traded my curse for a worse one._

_I won't elaborate. But I will say that hopping into a well and banging my head thirty five times, and listening to the cougar was not worth it…_

_But the cougar is gone now.  
_

_Ranma, give up on finding a cure. Don't come to China. China doesn't like you. China is bad. I have learned this lesson well. _

_I know you're stupid, and a girl, so you'll probably not heed my warning, but I felt I had to share this tale with someone who understands the pain of Jusenkyo. I don't know Mousse's address._

_Farewell, Saotome_

"….What did I just read?" Ranma crumbled the letter.

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End note: I edited the story to add this in after reading a couple of reviews. This be "da" end of the story, it's a one-shot. I'm trying out different things so I can get back into the mood to write more stories. And I've never written a Ryouga centered story and never anything close to a one-shot, so this was experimentation. Hope ya'll enjoyed reading.


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